


A Mate For Mogar

by BisexualGirlfriend



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF, X-Ray & Vav (Cartoon)
Genre: Awkwardness, F/M, M/M, Relationship(s), aromantic ash, bearman cannot flirt, implied aromantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 09:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6149113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BisexualGirlfriend/pseuds/BisexualGirlfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I offered to write a fic for youre-my-boi-micool (tumblr) and this was their request! <3</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mate For Mogar

**Author's Note:**

> Edited 30/10/16: Paragraphing has been fixed and is now easier to read.

There were many things Mogar didn't understand about human customs. For one thing, how they saw food. X-Ray would complain for hours that he was hungry and just walk out to the nearest takeout. In the woods, Mogar had to be careful with food in case there were days where it was scarce.  
  
Another thing was the lighting. Night time was for the night, yet Hilda's place would always be lit up as though she'd created her own sun. Maybe she had. The metal woman did lots of things that Mogar didn't understand.  
  
Weirdest of all was the way humans acted around each other. Ash seemed uninterested in anyone, usually politely telling people that. Mogar didn't understand why she didn't just roar and swipe at them, but her choice. Then there was Hilda and X-Ray. They shouted a lot but they also touched a lot. X-Ray sometimes brought her red flowers and they both seemed to think of each other as a mate. Vav would've made a potential mate, but Mogar had no idea how humans showed it. Mother had never had a mate so he couldn't even ask her. He would just have to observe people to find out what they did to win over their potential mates. 

  
  


"Why is Mogar sniffing those daisies?" X-Ray whispered to Ash. It had been a while since the days that X-Ray disliked her and now they were actually very close. Ash had played a big part in setting him and Hilda up. At this point, they were sat on the sofa, Ash typing on her expensive laptop and X-Ray playing a video game. Well, he _had_ been, until he caught sight of Mogar out of the window.  
  
“I don't know." Ash continued to type, glancing up for a moment to see where her friend was looking. "Maybe he misses the smell of them?"  
  
"What? There's plenty of flowers in the woods," X-Ray snorted. "Nah. He's up to something."  
  
"I doubt that," Ash grinned. "The logical explanation is probably something to do with his bear thing."  
  
"Hmm." He still looked suspicious but said nothing more. He would investigate the bear-man himself.  
  
Outside, Mogar examined the small flowers carefully. Mother enjoyed eating them. X-Ray bought flowers for Hilda. Maybe humans were like Mother and liked to eat the little plants. Smart.  
  
He carefully gathered a handful of the daisies. Vav had gone to the shop so he had time to prepare them. Whenever Hilda or Ash received flowers, they were dressed in ribbons and weird plastic. Mogar wasn't sure why that was, but if they liked it, so would Vav.  
  
Once back in the house, he made his way to the feast room. Everyone called it the kitchen, but there were no kits, so to him it was the feast room. This was where the food was prepared so it would be perfect for making the flowers look good. Setting them down on the counter, he began opening cupboards, trying to find a plate (as everyone called them) to set the flowers on to keep them together. There was a weird shaped one with tigers and leaves on it that would suffice.  
  
Next up was the ribbon. This would be harder, he thought to himself. He hadn't seen ribbons in the kitchen since they'd last celebrated a day of birth (another strange human custom) and that had been months ago. He checked the first cupboard; no such luck. The second cupboard proved the same, and the third, and the fourth, and so on. He let out a low growl. It was useless. How was he meant to make the flowers fancy if there was nothing to use?  
  
An idea struck him. Ash had received flowers that had wilted a couple of days ago and so she'd binned them. The flowers had had ribbons on them. From what he could remember, the people who came to take the bins did so every week on the seventh day. It was currently the fifth day. With any luck, the flowers would still be in the rubbish bag.  
  
"What are you doing?" X-Ray's voice interrupted him as he scrabbled through the trash.  
  
"Mogar's work is none of your concern," he growled, pushing aside some takeout wrappers in the bag.  
  
"Why are you going through the trash? Looking for Vav?" X-Ray teased, although he was a little confused.  
  
"Why would Mogar find Vav in the place of rubbish?" Mogar lifted his head to look at his friend. X-Ray sighed and shook his head.  
  
"Never mind. Just- if you're going through bins, don't check my room, kay? I'd rather you didn't go rummaging through there."  
  
"Mogar understands," Mogar replied, although he didn't see why the flowers with the ribbon would be inside X-Ray's bin. He didn't like going in X-Ray's room anyway; it smelled of mating and despair. He was pretty sure he wouldn't find flowers there. However, he could possibly find them in the bin in the room Ash sleeps in whenever she stays over. If they weren't in the kitchen trash, they'd be in Ash's trash.  
  
X-Ray shrugged and left the room. Mogar was definitely up to something. What he was up to, he didn't know, but he fully intended to find out. He'd discuss it with Hilda and Orf when they got back from whatever they were doing. Sniffing daises and going through bins was odd, even for Mogar.  
  
Just when Mogar was about to give up and go through Ash's room he caught sight of a familiar purple colour. The ribbon! Finally. Gleefully he pulled it out of the bin and went back to the daisies. Now, how to arrange them? The daisy stalks weren't long enough to make them look too fancy. He'd just have to manage the best that he could. 

  
  


Half an hour later, Vav arrived back at the apartment, carrying (or rather dragging) three or four shopping bags.  
  
"Slo-mo powers aren't good for when you want to get home quickly," he huffed as Ash opened the door for him.  
  
"The clue is in the 'slo'," she grinned, taking two of the carrier bags from him and briefly glancing at the contents. "Uh, why the eight packets of bacon?"  
  
"I didn't think Mogar would appreciate eating beef, considering his mother," Vav explained, setting the shopping bags down and leaning against the wall, exhausted.  
  
"Eight packets?" she repeated, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I don't know what he bloody eats!" Vav complained, furrowing his brow as Ash laughed.  
  
"I'll sort the bags. I think Mogar is in the kitchen. God knows what he's doing though."  
  
"Alright. Thanks, Ash," Vav smiled gratefully. He'd gotten over his crush a long time ago and thankfully there was no awkwardness between them. The two of them had remained friends and quickly adjusted to their lives.  
  
As Ash went to take the bags to the living room to sort out, Vav went to investigate what Mogar was up to. He entered the kitchen, intending to be quiet but accidentally kicking the door on his way in and letting out a yelp of pain which caused Mogar to turn around.  
  
"Vav is home," he acknowledged, eyeing the British man. Vav gulped, unsure of what he would do. Mogar wasn't exactly known for peaceful actions.  
  
"Mogar has been waiting for you. Mogar has made you a present," the bear-man continued.  
  
"Oh?" Vav perked up, rubbing his ankle. He hadn't been expecting that.  
  
"Yes," Mogar grinned, turning around and picking something up. "Vav must close his eyes."  
  
"If you insist," Vav shrugged, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to play it cool. He held out his hands politely, waiting for whatever Mogar was going to give him. A soft pressure was put onto his hands made him want to open his eyes but he waited for Mogar to give the word, just in case.  
  
"Open your eyes," Mogar ordered. Vav opened them, looking down at what he had been given. It was a plastic plate covered in daisies and bits of ribbon. And teabags. Lots of teabags.  
  
"Vav likes?" Mogar asked, a hopeful tone in his gruff voice.  
  
"It's, ah...a nice gesture!" Vav pasted a smile onto his face, unsure what exactly it was but knowing Mogar was trying to be nice. "What exactly...is it?"  
  
"It is flowers and leaves for Vav to eat," Mogar replied loudly. Vav's stomach churned. He was meant to eat...this? Daisies? Teabags?! His smile wavered, something that did not go unnoticed by Mogar. The bear-man frowned. Vav appeared to dislike his flowers. He'd have to try again. What else did humans do when they wanted a mate? Touching was one thing. There was also the option of taking them out to some human place for food.  
  
"Uh, thanks, Mogar..." Vav started. Mogar ignored him, deep in thought. He would have to ask Hilda.  
  
  
It was evening before Hilda got back, tired and grumpy from the day's events. Mogar didn't let this deter him. He needed to know things and Hilda would have the answers. Hilda always had the answers.  
  
"Mogar?" Hilda asked, catching sight of him as he entered the room. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Mogar needs Hilda's help," Mogar sighed. It was tiring work and humans were so confusing.  
  
"Well, what do you need my help with? Is it your mother? Your home?" Hilda replied, setting down a book she had started to write in.  
  
"Mother is fine. Mogar needs help with mates," Mogar wasn't quite sure how to phrase it but figured that would be close enough. Hilda raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You're looking for a mate?"  
  
"No. Mogar has found a mate. How does Mogar show them he thinks of them?"  
  
"Well," Hilda paused for a moment before smiling. It would be good for Mogar to have a partner. It might calm him down a bit. "It really depends on the person and their interests. What do they like?"  
  
"Justice?" Mogar suggested. He wasn't really sure what Vav liked. Food, for one thing. Justice definitely.  
  
“Anything relating to, I don't know, romance?" Hilda prompted. Mogar wrinkled his nose.  
  
“Romance? Another human custom?"  
  
"Well, technically. It's like when you want a mate, but how humans express it. When they consider someone a mate, the interaction is referred to as 'romance'," she explained. "When a person finds a mate that they see a future with, they'll generally refer to them as their boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, depending on the gender and preferences of the person in question. As long as the other person agrees, of course."  
  
“So if the person wanted to be my mate, I would call them partner?" Mogar asked, genuinely curious by this point.  
  
“Yeah, I guess. The term mate is generally used for sex and the person probably wouldn't appreciate that." Hilda looked thoughtful. "How about you invite the person out on a date? Find a nice restaurant, have food together. I'm sure X-Ray won't mind if I lend you money to use."  
  
"Hilda would do that for Mogar?" Mogar looked up at her earnestly.  
  
"That's what friends are for. Even if I'm friends with a bunch of idiots," Hilda grinned. Mogar's eyes watered.  
  
"Thank you, metal woman." 

  
  


Vav was surprised to see Mogar approach him the next day. Usually, Mogar would stay for the day and then go home. It was odd for him to stay for what, two days now? He wasn't sure how long it had been. Definitely more than a day, though.  
  
"Mogar wishes to speak to Vav," Mogar announced, stopping in front of the taller man and looking up at him. He wasn't wearing his usual apparel, instead dressed in 'casual clothes' as X-Ray would describe them. Vav fleetingly wondered what the occasion was.  
  
"Well, you're talking now," Vav grinned, brushing his hair from his face. Mogar paused and tilted his head. "Sorry. You were saying?"  
  
"Mogar wants Vav to go on a date," Mogar continued casually. Vav spluttered, his cheeks flushing pink.  
  
"Pardon, what?" Vav managed to exclaim.  
  
"A date. Food. Is it not called a date?" Mogar looked confused.  
  
"Oh! Oh, right," Vav laughed nervously. How silly of him- the man was still learning human customs. "I'd love to go grab food! Any place in particular?"  
  
"Uh..." Mogar squinted, trying to remember the place Hilda had mentioned. "Jaune's Arc?"  
  
"Oh, I love that place! They do spectacular fried food. I melt just thinking of it," Vav exclaimed happily. "When are we going?"  
  
"Now?" Mogar asked, a smile gracing his face. 

  
  


The t-shirt Mogar was wearing must've been one of X-Ray's - it was tightly fitted, meaning that Mogar's abs were practically straining against it. Vav shouldn't be noticing but he couldn't help it. Whoever Mogar fell for would be lucky indeed. If Mogar could fall for anyone. He could be aromantic for all Vav knew. He could fall for an actual bear, too! That would be odd. Would that even work? Mogar was human, just raised like-  
  
"Is Vav okay?" Mogar asked gruffly as they walked. Vav blinked, shaking his head slightly to clear it.  
  
"Er, yes. Sorry. Got distracted thinking of the food," Vav smiled awkwardly, feeling his cheeks flush pink again. Mogar nodded, glancing at the man. Vav may not be too strong, but that didn't matter. He would make a good mate, caring and kind. Protective and charming too. Good taste in food. Yes, Vav would make an excellent mate.  
  
It wasn't long before they arrived at the restaurant and were seated at a table for two next to a window.  
  
"You know, this place burnt down once," Vav remarked to Mogar, glancing around the place. It seemed very posh, with beautiful lighting and expensive furniture. "Hey, Mogar, what do you feel like?"  
  
Mogar frowned, squinting at the menu. The squiggles made no sense to him whatsoever.  
  
"What does Vav want?" Mogar offered. Vav smiled at him.  
  
"I think I'll have the full English breakfast," he decided. Mogar had no idea what that was, but he did know that breakfast was a term for morning food and that it was not morning. With a slight shrug he let it pass.  
  
"Mogar will have the same."  
  
Vav called the waiter over and ordered for the two of them. They were informed of the twenty minute wait before being left alone again. Vav tried to make small talk but Mogar seemed to be deep in thought, replying mostly with short answers. Vav hoped he hadn't upset him.  
  
"Are you okay, Mogar?" Vav asked eventually.  
  
"Mogar is fine," Mogar nodded. "Is Vav?"  
  
"Yes, I'm fine," Vav sighed in relief as the waiter headed towards them with their food.  
  
"I hope you find your meals up to standard, gentlemen. You know, it is not often we get such open customers," the waiter smiled. Vav nodded, smiling back, not realising what the waiter was getting at.  
  
"Thank you, my good sir! Send my compliments to the chef," he replied politely. Mogar wrinkled his nose at the cutlery beside his plate, picking up a bacon rasher with his hand. Vav laughed awkwardly, noticing the other people eating glaring at them. Mogar just ignored them, hungrily digging into his meal.  
  
As they neared their finish, the waiter returned.  
  
“Would you like to order a dessert?" he asked, ready to clear away their plates.  
  
"No, thank you. Mogar?" Vav asked, receiving a shake of the other man's head due to his mouth being full.  
  
"Very well. I shall bring the cheque around." The waiter scuttled off again. Mogar swallowed.  
  
"Cheque?"  
  
"Yeah, it's what paying for your food is called," Vav replied casually. Mogar froze. He'd forgotten all about money and left it in the kitchen.  
  
"Mogar only has four pennies!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening fearfully.  
  
"Relax, Mogar, I brought money," Vav assured him, but Mogar was having none of it.  
  
"Mogar has failed! Mogar prepared a bad date!" he growled, unable to believe he could've messed up so badly. He really needed Hilda and X-ray's help. 

  
  


"So, how did the date go?" Hilda asked excitedly when Mogar returned home. Vav had gone to talk to Ash, leaving Mogar free to talk to Hilda and X-ray, wherever he was.  
  
"Mogar failed. Mogar left the money here and they had to pay. It was a bad date," Mogar groaned.  
  
"Okay, maybe a date isn't the right thing. Why not write them a letter?" Hilda suggested.  
  
"Mogar cannot write or read," he looked frustrated.  
  
"Why not ask X-Ray? He's become pretty good at writing letters like that," she smiled faintly to herself, thinking about them. "I'm sure he'll help."  
  
"Mogar will ask X-Ray then," Mogar decided. "Thank you again, metal woman."  
  
"Mogar, you can always refer to me as Hilda. You don't need to differentiate between the two," she pointed out.  
  
"Okay...Hilda," Mogar nodded before going to find X-Ray.  
  
  
He found X-Ray in the living room, playing a video game of some sort. Nothing new there; X-Ray always seemed to be playing games. This time it was a game with swords and staffs and elves. Mogar wasn't sure of the name, nor did he ask. He had more pressing matters.  
  
"X-Ray," he started. X-Ray didn't look up, staring at the screen intently. Mogar glowered at the small figure on screen. Stupid man with the big sword. His sword was much more impressive.  
  
"X-Ray!" he tried again. When X-Ray still didn't look up he grabbed the controller out of the younger man's hands.  
  
"Hey! Mogar, no, I'm fighting the archdemon!" X-Ray cried, trying to wrestle the controller back from him. On the screen, his character ran in circles pathetically, getting hit with bolts of fire and swarmed by enemies. “Mogar!”  
  
“Little man can wait!” Mogar insisted, holding the controller out of reach. “Little man’s problems are not real! Mogar’s problems are real!”  
  
“At least pause the game!” X-Ray begged, putting his whole body weight into trying to push past Mogar to reach the controller. Mogar glowered at him, looking at the controller that he was holding out of reach.  
  
“How does Mogar ‘pause’?” Mogar demanded.  
  
“Press start! Press start!”  
  
“This button?” Mogar pressed the button in the middle of the controller. A white screen popped up on the TV, displaying X-Ray’s icon and options such as messages, friends and party. Mogar wrinkled his nose. The game could create parties? Was X-Ray so desperate for friends that he threw parties with his items?  
  
“NO!” X-Ray yelped, trying to snatch the controller back. “Mogar, please give it to me!”  
  
Vav stopped, stood outside the living room door. He had intended to go see if X-Ray wanted to play a game on their Xboxes together, but by the sounds of it, X-Ray was…preoccupied.  
  
“Mogar wants to start,” Mogar replied stubbornly. He wanted to see the party but didn’t think X-Ray would appreciate it and so decided he would be better off trying to find the start button himself.  
  
“Then do it!” X-Ray snapped, practically climbing onto Mogar at that point. “Then give it to me!”  
  
Vav felt his face heating up. X-Ray knew he liked Mogar. He understood if Mogar didn’t like him back, but X-Ray? X-Ray was dating Hilda! And of all places to- to- well, do things, the living room?! What if Ash had walked in? Or Hilda? It was completely inappropriate!  
  
“What if Mogar does this?” Mogar asked, walking over to the television and looking at the Xbox. X-Ray fell forward as he moved, his eyes widening in horror.  
  
“Mogar, please!” X-Ray begged, scrambling up again and lunging at the man as he approached the Xbox. Mogar looked down at the controller before pressing the small, silver circle on the console, earning a small ‘bleep’ from the Xbox as it powered off. X-Ray let out a scream of anguish, falling to his knees on the living room carpet.  
  
Vav had had enough. They were not performing sexual activities in their shared living room. He burst through the door, a thunderous expression on his face.  
  
“What the bloody hell are you…two…”he trailed off, seeing X-Ray curled up on the floor in the fetal position, fully clothed and whimpering, and Mogar stood in front of the TV, also fully clothed, holding X-Ray’s Xbox controller in his hands. It didn’t take long to put two and two together.  
  
“Dragon Age Origins?” he asked X-Ray cautiously, who nodded with tears streaming down his face.  
  
“Insanity difficulty?” he pressed, to which X-Ray emitted a whimper and buried his face in his hands. “Ah.”  
  
“The archdemon battle,” X-Ray whimpered. “He had less than a quarter of his health left.”  
  
Vav nodded sympathetically. “RIP in pieces.”  
  
“I’m gonna go cry into Hilda for a few hours now,” X-Ray dragged himself across the floor, not bothering to get up. Both Mogar and Vav watched him shuffle away until they could no longer feel the misery radiating off him.  
  
“What was it that Vav was going to say?” Mogar asked. He wasn’t sure what he could do now, considering X-Ray hadn’t been any help whatsoever and now he would be hogging Hilda too. It wasn’t even like Ash was there so he could ask her.  
  
“I…uh…” Vav flushed red again. There wasn’t exactly a way he could explain that he had completely gotten the wrong end of the stick from what he’d heard from outside the room. “Well?”  
  
“Vav is embarrassed?” Mogar frowned. He didn’t want Vav feeling embarrassed, although he didn’t see why Vav would be.  
  
“Well, from outside the living room, it, uh, it…” Vav stammered, trying to think of an excuse he could use to worm himself out of the situation. Mogar blinked, finally getting what the issue was.  
  
“Vav thought Mogar liked X-Ray?” Mogar asked in disbelief.  
  
“Well, it, uh, it did sound that way…”  
  
“Mogar likes Vav,” Mogar told him bluntly.  
  
“And, uh, what with what was happening-” Vav stuttered before his brain processed what Mogar had said. “Wait…what?”  
  
“Mogar likes Vav,” Mogar repeated.  
  
“You…you do?” Vav asked shyly, his face slowly turning the colour of a tomato. Of course- it made sense! The ‘present’, the date, the clothes…Mogar had been trying to follow the usual standards of dating! Vav mentally facepalmed- why hadn’t he realised sooner?  
  
“Does Vav like Mogar?” Mogar asked him, taking a step closer to him. Mogar’s eyes were a really nice brown colour, Vav noticed, like pools of melted chocolate.  
Not that he had ever seen pools of melted chocolate. He’d seen chocolate fountains, but they wouldn’t really count as pools, unless of course one was spilt, in which case-  
  
He hadn’t answered Mogar’s question.  
  
“I- yes,” Vav awkwardly scratched his neck, unsure of how Mogar would react. Bears didn’t usually stay with their mates, from what he could remember. But Mogar had been raised by a cow and cows don’t usually abandon their mates. Did they? Did cows even have mates? Vav tried to recall a time when he had seen a cow family. Come to think of it, he’d only ever seen cows on farms, bred for purposes and separated. So maybe it wasn’t the cows’ choices to not have a mate.  
  
He barely registered Mogar edging closer until his head was resting on his shoulder. Vav blinked, pausing before leaning his head on Mogar’s.  
  
“Have you had a human partner before?” Vav asked softly.  
  
“No,” Mogar replied.  
  
“Then you’ve never been kissed?” Vav looked sideways at the man.  
  
“What is a kiss?” Mogar asked curiously. A faint smile appeared on Vav’s face.  
  
“I’ll show you.”  
  
He carefully cupped Mogar’s face in his hands, dipping his head slightly before gently pressing his lips to Mogar’s, his heart racing. Mogar, keen to impress him, pushed his face closer to Vav’s bumping noses with him but not seeming to mind, despite Vav’s burning cheeks. It seemed like an eternity before Vav finally broke away, nervously chuckling. He was obviously flustered and played with his hands, waiting for Mogar’s reaction.  
  
“Kisses are good,” Mogar decided, affectionately nuzzling Vav’s shoulder. “Mogar would like more kisses from Vav.”  
  
Vav didn’t hesitate to oblige.


End file.
